One For You, One For Me

So I got a call around 3:30 today that we'd need a feature shot of Jeremiah Johnson for this week's "Game Day." I'd have to make it after they practiced, around 5. Here's where this always goes wrong. Players don't look tough or cool or even happy after practices. They look tired. Other problems: Practice uniforms. They don't pop. In this case, they look like they don't even fit! Practice fields are also notoriously boring and cluttered. And to top it call off, you usually have about 5 minutes with the players before you're being told to move along.

Actually, there are probably too many problems to list. The point is, I created a photo that I know is a failure. What happened is what usually happens. I start to feel the pressure of my time limit, I start focusing on all these "problems" and my anxiety goes through the roof. Cold sweats and all. So then I lose track of all the things I really know to pay attention to and take care of.

It started raining again, which was fitting the mood I was in. But then it stopped and there was this beautiful light pouring into my apartment where I was about to fall asleep. I realized I needed to get outside and just enjoy the day by myself. So I hopped in my car and wasted a bit of gas in a fit of self-indulgence. And while I was out, enjoying the drive and the sun, I made this photo. Nothing special really, but it made me feel good again. Now I'm not really a metaphorical person, but all that rain letting up just in time for a shiny new sunset felt real nice.

Really Tall Girls

Woke up this morning and remembered that it was the UO Volleyball Media Day. Luckily, I am still on Grand Jury time and so I was actually up hours before I needed to be there. So after a couple cups of coffee I headed out there with a light, an umbrella and my 50mm. I think I ended up with a bunch of almosts, but I was pleased with some of the results from my first use of an umbrella.And I have to say, this is the first time I've photographed athletes here and not had them complain about having to take a picture. And this was right after they practiced! Amazing...

Personal Vision

Every once in a while I hear that phrase: Personal Vision.

I'm not really sure what it means. I like to attribute it to all the photos of mine that I like, that probably not too many other people would enjoy. Here are a few, past and present.

Failures Can Be Rewarding

Every once in awhile my brain starts working and I begin that process called thinking. So yes, I've been thinking:

The more I shoot, the less I like my work. I am forever in a state of self-doubt and anytime I am able to break out of that doubt and create something I like, that little prick of confidence isn't verified by any of the people I respect in this business/hobby/passion. That, or it is completely smashed, squished, obliterated by those same people. And so my self-doubt increases.

Luckily, I know that others share a similar doubt. So I am changing the direction of this phlog. I started with simply sharing the pictures that I had a little bit of liking for. That's probably why the posts weren't too routine. But I think the community (the two people who read this every few months) would benefit more from the truth of both my failures and successes.

I just hope that when I'm, ya know, successful and creating images like the ones I admire now that someone who feels as completely uncomfortable in this passion as I currently do can read about my very similar feelings when I was doing this.

You can always hope.

So to start, here are some photos far less than perfect from when I got my tattoo two weeks ago.

Portraits

Really, I am trying to keep this updated. Realistically, I just need to get out more.

What have I been up to lately? Portraits. Mostly.

Talk about a funk.